About

“I have lost. Watched my heart break into a thousand pieces….and yet I’m still here. I remain with hope in my heart and passion and love searing through my veins. I hope to remain a good man. A passonate man. I still hope for the clearest sky. I still hope to find someone who will find me amazing and love me. I hope….” TJ Hall – The very last line of Nice Guys Finish Last…. 

My name is TJ and I’m a screenwriter and novelist.

I wrote a short film called New Chapter which was the recipient of the  Jury Award at the 2013 London International Film Festival (LIFF).

So what is this blog?

What is the purpose of it? I,  to be honest have no clue. I think initially to wanted to do film reviews (which I do) and post up film scripts that I have written (this is also what I have been doing). Yet everything changed when I got a text message.

My best mate and oldest friend met someone. Now he’s a good guy. The best guy I know. It was online. He kept it quiet. Of course he did. He didn’t want to jinx it, ruin something before it started. He went and told me about the instant sparks, the great connection and how good a guy like him (and in turn a guy like me) felt when you meet someone who intrigues you and makes you feel special and part of the world. That you’re worth something.

Sadly thanks to my special power of knowing when something is wrong for a relationship. Something bad did happen. My friend got messed around. Just like that he got unceremoniously dumped and dropped like he was nothing . Yet to soften the blow he was told the same thing guys like ourselves hear….”You’re a really great guy. You’re so nice. You’ll meet someone. You’ll see.” Yeah we’ve all heard that before haven’t we?

When he told me this it sparked something. Anger? Yes. Pain? Definitely. I heard those words before over and over. To process it would be something that made me feel as angry and vulnerable as I’ve felt in a long time. Why him? Why was he treated that way? Why was I treated that way? Why are Nice Guys so great, but are never given a chance? Why say that?

I’ve been hurt more times than I’ve had happy meals. I’ve had more bad memories than good memories. I’ve seen my view of the opposite sex and also myself change fundamentally. I wrote a lot of those experiences down on paper to cope with the pain. Realise it. Accept it. Other have stayed in my head far longer then I ever thought. They are part of me these memories.

Those of you who know me. Who care about me have seen me get worse, become so negative you may even contemplate ditching me altogether. I get it. I do and I don’t blame you. Those of you who are new  to me and are coming onto the blog for the first time. It’s a ride. I was always planning to write this…..A series of installments explaining my experiences called Nice Guys Finish Last. Now I’m not going to lie. These are not happy stories. They are filled with pain, disappointment and betrayal. You’re going to see the decimation of one’s soul (me and others) and they will push you emotionally.

Yet why should you read them? Why should I write them if they cause such pain? I guess I want to explain the title (it is true), but also explain my behavior to the ones who I care about. To the new people. It has drama and humor and even action. They’re roller-coasters that I hope can take you onto a journey. Journey to where? I don’t even know, but as long as you’re with me. I’ll will be something.

Here’s the link with all of the chapter of  Nice Guys Finish Last :

https://troyj81.wordpress.com/2015/03/16/nice-guys-finish-last-the-actual-chapter-list-and-links/

Enjoy people. Enjoy….